Movin' on. Movin' on.

It breaks my heart that Chris doesn’t belong to me anymore... I told him that. Lying in bed, he turned to me and said- softly, sadly, simply-

I don’t belong to anyone.

Perhaps he meant something else. We’ve never completely connected in the way we communicated. I did what I usually do in that situation. I kissed his forehead and sat back and regarded my sweet man- hoping, as always, that I’d have the time to figure out his heart and mind someday. Someday... someday- who knows?

I couldn’t get what he said out of my head. I thought about what it meant to me. By default then, was I also untethered and ‘free’? The past couple of months spent meeting new people and exploring new emotional territories have made me incredibly grateful for the concept of the urban family.

I <3 urban families.

Why do we choose to bind ourselves to specific individuals and not others? Why do some people immediately enter and refuse to leave our hearts while others simply walk on through? I took a look at the people I surround myself with, people from all different situations- different ages, races, incomes, attitudes, dreams, and environments, and decided our only connection at times seems to be that we are all many miles away from the familiar...

*They*- in who they are and how they see the world, combined with how I react to them- make me who I am. I’ve known a lot of them long enough to say also- perhaps they wouldn’t have had the same view if I wasn’t along for the ride.

I don’t belong to anyone? I don’t think so. I belong to my friends and families. I belong to my coworkers and the random people who enter my day in passing. I belong to anyone who makes my story what it is. I belong here. I belong *now*, you know?

I wish my hands made more. I wish I was smarter, faster, stronger, *better*- just for these people...

Anywho- have to run. Victor from maintenance just walked in and he gets very cross with me if I don’t try to sexually harass him at least once a day.

Bye!
;)