This morning I leapt from my bed with superhuman prowess. Impressively, it was 5:30am. Even more impressively, it was *actually* 4:30am. Just saying- I think Daylight Savings Time is stupid. So stupid, in fact, that if I didn’t have a hideously expensive apartment I have to pay for somehow, I would disregard the time change all together and be indignantly offended when my TV shows came on at the wrong time and people picked me up hella early. Maybe hippies have it right after all. Hmmm... but I digress.
*Anywho*
There is only one thing to do at 5:30 in the morning when you are feelin’ good, feelin’ fine. That, of course is to dance about the apartment like a lunatic in your underwear. If you haven’t done this- I recommend trying it as soon as possible. Thank god I don’t have roommates- they’d be thoroughly scandalized. I can tell it’s going to be a good day- my INSANEfrizzy hair is mashed up on one side and it looks like god has personally *smoted* my skin yet when I prance in front of the mirror (with the swayback posture favored by little girls everywhere) I declare- ‘Damn! I look GOOD!!!’ It’s time for clothes, chai, and work. Preferably in that order. Definitely in that order- it’s still cold outside.
I was so pleasant this morning at work, smiling at the guest- going out of my way to make sure they got what they needed. I thought to myself- hey! *This* is probably what they pay me for! I was feeling so affable that I offered to personally show one of our suites to a guest that was thinking about upgrading. The room is beautiful and he wants to make the switch when I notice the clock on the bedside table hasn’t been set properly yet. Being all fabulous and helpful I ask him if he’d like me to change it for him. He does so I got over and kneel down to fix it and suddenly I feel... icky. He’s standing REALLYCLOSE to me. Which would be fine, except I have the wall directly to my left and the bed directly to my right. So he effectively has pinned me in the little nook.
How close was he, you ask? Well, when I stood up, knees brushing the table- I bumped into him too. Uh-oh... I feel the first stirring of a mild panic. But then I remembered I was *FIERCE* and I relaxed. I thought- ‘Seduction- you’re doing it wrong, dude.’ After what felt like too long, he turned and I was able to escape and walk back to the front desk. On the way I wondered if there was something I should *do* or *say*… but then he gave me $5, so we’re cool now.
It’s almost 1 now and I’m looking forward to getting out of here feeling this *good*. Boyd bought rockband. I <3 rockband. Boyd and Nea willing, I will be playing rockband tonight. Why just listen to, watch, and date rockstars when I could *be* one? What’s that? Oh... yeah. Right- because I suck. Bummer. I better get in that practice tonight then.
And the moral of the story is this: Daylight Savings makes creepy perverts come out to try and sexual molester nice people during the clock changing. Yeah. For real.
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