I almost bit the head off of the director of sales today. Yes, I mean literally. Though my behavior was probably merited, it was nonetheless rude and demonstrative of how hopelessly addicted to various habits and chemical fixations I actually am. Hmm, hopelessly sounds so… uh, hopeless- which I guess is the point and unfortunately (due to this state of mind) it seems like my hopelessness is a definite reality. Or maybe not. I can never tell.
Normally, new situations of any sort (good or bad) brought on by chance are a valued treat- giving me opportunities to sample different approaches to life or a chance to prove myself or even, perhaps- real time introspection (or would that be demonstration?). My present circumstance may not inspire such lofty sentiments but I’ve always had an exaggerated sense of adventure and an impressive flair for the dramatic.
“It all started with a chair...” Well *not really* but it’s as good a place to start as any. Those who have had the pleasure (and by pleasure I mean hideous experience) of riding in my car, no wait- those who have had the pleasure of driving my car (and here by pleasure I mean hideous *torturous* experience) know that the seat has been broken forEVER. All the way forward. In its most upright and uncomfortable position. But it’s not anymore.
In order to fix my seat I had to:
-wear all of my brakes down to metal on metal.
-snap my passenger side tyrod.
-completely destroy my driver’s side wheel bearing.
$250 and lots of greasy men and technical words that I ignored later- my seat is now fixed. Apparently my mechanic took a fancy to me. Neat.
But I digress, I had a point... I think. All of this happened at once (well, the wearing down of the breaks took a while but I think you know what I mean). Anyways, my social life as of late has been... um, antisocial? Yeah, I like that. Wednesday last, I had fabulous plans to actually enter the land of the living (and perhaps do some dancing while I was there) and hear some music down at Varsity Theater. I <3 about="about" and="and" because="because" br="br" but="but" course="course" dis:="dis:" don="don" fell="fell" fun-="fun-" hope="hope" i.="i." i="i" instead="instead" is="is" it="it" like="like" literally.="literally." loved.="loved." mean="mean" my="my" myself="myself" no="no" of="of" off.="off." on="on" same="same" say="say" shabby="shabby" someday="someday" t="t" the="the" there="there" they="they" this:="this:" tire="tire" to="to" varsity="varsity" way="way" went="went" worn="worn" yet="yet">
And then, after a couple of days, it was fixed! I made it up to Duluth for Mother’s Day and everything. Woot. Heeeey- next Wednesday holds another opportunity to embarrass myself in the bar scene. Heck yes, I’m in. And I’m totally looking forward to this. In fact, it’s one of my happy thoughts on Monday morning.*
*In order to even get out of bed, Monday mornings require happy thoughts directly proportional to #1 The amount of alcohol consumed over the weekend plus #2 The amount of work I left on Friday in order to get to said alcohol.
When I went out to my car after work... I hopped in, turned the key, threw it in reverse and the car did this- NO. Huh? Back into park, back into reverse… car’s like- ‘Are you listening to me? I said NO.’ Uh oh. Does drive still work? Uhhh... kinda. So I limp home, well actually speed all crazy like home- trying to hit every green light. I can’t stop because I seem to have lost 1st gear too. And by lost I mean, uh... I don’t know where the hell it went;) Reverse?!?! First gear!??! Heeeelllllooooo where ARE you??? Oh, (as I pull into my ramp) you’re probably in that humungous red puddle in my parking spot there, huh?
And I haven’t been able to go anywhere.
And I didn’t get to go out last night.
And I’ve had to walk to work. Le sigh. I don’t mind walking to work, really. It’s kind of nice except for ONE thing. I have to leave earlier in the morning which means my coffee shop isn’t open yet.
Which means I haven’t had a chai frappe since Monday morning.
Which means I’m not pleasant.
Which means... I gotta go!
Bye
No comments:
Post a Comment