Whoops

My credit cards will occasionally jump out of my purse and hide themselves about the apartment. They seem to sense when I’m feeling financially foolish and view a rogue life on their own (as skeleton keys and banana choppers or something) as infinitely superior to the abuse they know is coming. Ha! But I found the little bastards!

Translation: After being *so good* for two months... I let myself go to the mall today :D

Why hellooooooooo MOA, remember me? Well you should- I paid for that pretty fountain over there dammit. Imayhavesortaatonepointintimehadaproblem... anyways! I have this new trick I wanted to try to prevent myself from spending too much. I made myself walk the two miles to the train to the mall. Anything I purchased had to be carried back the distance. Did it work..? Nope! Dragged 75lbs of clothing miles home, uphill- 10 feet of snow, etc.

When I get home I’m trying to placate my rational mind with explanations as to why I *needed* all of this. Lookit this beautiful wool jacket! So soft... and I mean, we live in MN- it’s going to get cold... My rational mind looks into the closet where a perfectly serviceable, expensive (though old) jacket hangs. Erm- yes but I’ve had that coat for years and years and I plan on giving it to someone else to enjoy too. Swear.

Here to prove my point I bring it to the clothes swap area on my floor and watch someone pick it up before I’ve even left the room. Back in my apartment feeling smug about my charity, I reminisce about the good times and bad with jacket. Hmm... sometimes I hide money in pockets so I can rediscover it later and be surprised. I wonder if I should have looked in the coat? Oh wait, NAH- did that last spring and there was nothing in there but... OH MY FREAKIN’ GOD.

::races back to clothes swap::

Ah- where did they go?! WHERE DID THEY GO?! I start randomly knocking on doors. (This takes awhile) Finally I recognize the person who comes to the door. ‘Thank god! So um... that coat? No, no! It’s yours, I’m just going to need something out of the pocket there. A little tube about 2 inches tall... filled with erm, stuff. Yes, filled with a powder. Wait, how you *you* know that? Oh. You unsealed it? Oh, you were curious. ...you didn’t like, smell it or taste it did you? Uh... did you? Well if you did, (oh god) should be okay. Guess it’s um... organic?’

Walking back to the apartment, I tell the tube how sorry I am.

There were originally about 7 or 8 of these. Half of them have been lost in one fashion or another. Hell, maybe they all are gone now- I’ve lost touch with the other holders. Last I heard, my friend Tanya was navigating a particularity nasty turn when hers (sitting on the dash) rolled out the open window. Amanda’s kids opened hers and threw it in their wading pool. One was spilled outside and another was spilled inside- had to be vacuumed up eventually.

Now of course, I can’t know for sure... they wouldn’t tell me outright-
But I’m *pretty* sure my neighbor tried to snort the cremated remains of my friend Bobby...
(Believe me, he would have found that hilarious.)

Sorry hun!
<3 Your little wagon-burner
:D