It's me belt, Turkish.
No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
It's for protection.
Protection from what? Zee Germans?
Jason Statham was on Jay Leno Friday night.
Ahhhh...
::swoons::
When looking for pictures to stick in my journal (of said hottie) I found not only some seriously foxy ones but also, embarrassingly enough- my teeth bared in a GRRRRRRR snarl. I’d better not. I’d never finish this train of thought. Wha..? Erm... oh yeah, I was saying something. :D
So naturally, watching this- I started to wonder what I would say and what stories I’d tell if I was *also* on Jay Leno this particular night. Naturally. I have the perfect costarring-with-Jason-Statham-on-Jay-Leno slightly relevant and humorous anecdote. I will share it with you:
Who remembers those ‘superbit’ DVDs? Do they even make those anymore? Probably not. Anywho- I had a superbit copy of the movie Snatch. Being one of my favorite movies, I jumped at the opportunity to acquire (or *snatch* ::snicker::) what I thought to be an enhanced version of the release. Back in the day, these came in gross blue DVD cases that said SUPERBIT all over and had a teeny tiny picture of the movie dead center. With me so far? Good.
I happened to be at the store one day, pursuing the movies when I came across a special edition of the film Snatch. It was all shiny and beautiful and new and extended and all that jazz. We will now switch perspectives for maximum amusement.
So you’re in the electronics department, looking at CDs or videogames or whatever- totally minding your own business when you hear shouted (my excitement over the find caused my voice to go up a few decibels) from a couple of rows over:
”Oh-my-freakin’-god! Look at that snatch! That’s SO much better than my ghetto snatch!!”
Switch back to me, finger pointed at the DVD, jumping and bubbly with glee- a HUGE smile plastered to my face. It holds for a minute until, with dawning horror- I notice how quiet it just got in the store and realize what I actually uttered out loud.
I don’t remember leaving the store. The next thing I remember is standing outside, the cool air soothing to my burning cheeks. I don’t really get embarrassed- if I do, it’s usually colored with amusement at myself and I get over it pretty quick. What made this instance so bad was the fact that my companion was a boy I was in the process of trying to woo. You know- I was still pretending I was cool, poised, and sophisticated (with a little bit of badass girl thrown in for good measure)... I didn’t want him to know (yet) that I fell down all the time and occasionally (often) blurted out asininely retarded things.
Yes. This is definitely what I would have said.
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