Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An appeal for bipartisanship

OK.
Erm... Big scary political words confuse me sometimes. I know their definitions (and if not, I know where to look;) but the majority- I have a hard time finding real life application. And it seems unnecessary and cumbersome to use them when we already have ways of saying these things.

Today at work, I was almost killed by a homicidal redneck. She had a chip on her shoulder (the size of her trailer) about the inauguration *and* apparently had the power of divining people's political sway by merely looking at them. My crime? I told her she couldn't use the hotel's dumpster to throw her household's trash away after she nearly ran our accountant over in the parking lot. Well, *that* and the fact that I was all 'high and mighty now that I had gotten one of those people in the white house' presumably- you know, an ignorant terrorist who was gleefully celebrating! flushing this nation down the toilet.

I truly am amazed sometimes by the things that actually happen to me in real life. She proceeded to start shoving me with her stomach and threaten my life in general.

About this time, Nancy (our accountant) picked herself off the ground and came over. Nancy is having a bad day. I know this because I remember the RNC and her exuberant participation in the city's events. I remember how her smile didn't leave her face for a week. She's a card-carrying member of the NRA, a proud holder of a carry/conceal permit, and was devastated when McCain lost the election. As she walks over, she pushes up the sleeves of her jacket and both of her american flag tattoos (inked in hearts on her forearms) are visible.

Nancy walks over and immediately offers to coldclock this lady if she doesn't back off. Insults are traded back and forth over my head and I begin to blush with the implications of some of the things they're saying. This goes on for quite some time. Finally, as I'm sure arguments always end with the card-carrying-conceal people, Nancy tells her she has a gun and knows how to use it. It was then I came to a realization.

OK.
Bipartisanship: Nancy and I burying a body together. Got it- it's like CODE!

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