I suppose it's a lot like being born.
You’re excited and terrified.
Your body naturally assumes the correct position as
You struggle to remember (learn) how to breathe and then
You just let go and let gravity do the rest.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sky NINJAS 4eva yo.
I suppose it's a lot like being born.
You’re excited and terrified.
Your body naturally assumes the correct position as
You struggle to remember (learn) how to breathe and then
You just let go and let gravity do the rest.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ICK.
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
Hold it together Kell... steady, easy now. Hold it...
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
Sitting across from me are two elegant French guests inquiring about the Orpheum theatre. I have been told, in no uncertain terms, to do whatever these people ask of me. Earlier today I taunted my manager- ‘anything, huh? What if they want tickets to some show that’s been sold out FOR YEARS?!’ ‘For the amount of business they’ll bring us next year, you WILL get them whatever they want. Kell... repeat after me: There’s nothing like a well-timed blow job...’
Well. Thanks for thinking of me. Glad to know I bring unique skills to the Normandy.
So now, I have two elegant French guests sitting across from me inquiring about the Orpheum theatre. Two very important-that-we-impress guests sitting across from me, in the chair there- which chair, you ask? Oh. The one with the GIGANTIC cockroach climbing up it.
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
Hold it together Kell... steady, easy now. Hold it...
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
I think I may have made a strange small squeaky sound but I managed to maintain the semblance of attention to their conversation, my smile only becoming *slightly* sickly around the edges. Oh Christ- and it’s a big one too. For a moment I let myself get hysterical in my head- my giddy thought is that I’m almost proud of our own Normandy roaches, huge strapping boys that they are. UGH. They won’t *die* but at least they usually stay in the basement. Usually. They’ve become more adventurous as of late, wandering into the kitchen to terrorize the servers. This one here- this one is the bigdaddy, ringleading cockroach I can tell. Hell, he should have a cape with a big freakin’ S tied around his neck or perhaps a teeny tiny ‘C’ flag- claiming this hotel for cockroach kind.
I try and mentally will these people to leave. Come on… come on. Yeahyeahyeah- whatever!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s getting closer!! Its waving antennae are just *inches* away from Mr.’s hand. Shut up, Shut up, shut up- I’ll get you whatever you want! I’ll do it! JUST LEAVE. I wonder if I shouldn’t offer them a blowjob right now- I believe that would be the perfect definition of ‘well-timed’.
...but I didn’t have to. They left. Crisis averted.
I wonder if I can put this sort of thing on my resume?
:P
Bye.
Hold it together Kell... steady, easy now. Hold it...
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
Sitting across from me are two elegant French guests inquiring about the Orpheum theatre. I have been told, in no uncertain terms, to do whatever these people ask of me. Earlier today I taunted my manager- ‘anything, huh? What if they want tickets to some show that’s been sold out FOR YEARS?!’ ‘For the amount of business they’ll bring us next year, you WILL get them whatever they want. Kell... repeat after me: There’s nothing like a well-timed blow job...’
Well. Thanks for thinking of me. Glad to know I bring unique skills to the Normandy.
So now, I have two elegant French guests sitting across from me inquiring about the Orpheum theatre. Two very important-that-we-impress guests sitting across from me, in the chair there- which chair, you ask? Oh. The one with the GIGANTIC cockroach climbing up it.
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
Hold it together Kell... steady, easy now. Hold it...
Oh. My freakin’. GOD.
I think I may have made a strange small squeaky sound but I managed to maintain the semblance of attention to their conversation, my smile only becoming *slightly* sickly around the edges. Oh Christ- and it’s a big one too. For a moment I let myself get hysterical in my head- my giddy thought is that I’m almost proud of our own Normandy roaches, huge strapping boys that they are. UGH. They won’t *die* but at least they usually stay in the basement. Usually. They’ve become more adventurous as of late, wandering into the kitchen to terrorize the servers. This one here- this one is the bigdaddy, ringleading cockroach I can tell. Hell, he should have a cape with a big freakin’ S tied around his neck or perhaps a teeny tiny ‘C’ flag- claiming this hotel for cockroach kind.
I try and mentally will these people to leave. Come on… come on. Yeahyeahyeah- whatever!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s getting closer!! Its waving antennae are just *inches* away from Mr.’s hand. Shut up, Shut up, shut up- I’ll get you whatever you want! I’ll do it! JUST LEAVE. I wonder if I shouldn’t offer them a blowjob right now- I believe that would be the perfect definition of ‘well-timed’.
...but I didn’t have to. They left. Crisis averted.
I wonder if I can put this sort of thing on my resume?
:P
Bye.
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